Another day in bed, thanks MS

 I thought about getting up this morning but staying in bed was a far better idea. I was exhausted after a busy day yesterday, when I did wake up first thing this morning I did so with much reluctance, Heather made me my porridge 🥣 which I ate in bed, drunk a cup of tea took my tablets and went back to sleep 🛌 💤 l finally did get up at 3:30 . Multiple Sclerosis makes me tired beyond tired. It is referred to a fatigue because we all know about feeling tired, you know what it’s like after a busy day you want to kick your shoes 👞 off put your slippers 🥿 on and sit if front of the television 📺 and slob out. With MS you got to bed full clothed and you don’t take your shoes 👠 off. Heather woke me this morning and I was still knackered. I went back to sleep immediately and only surfaced to take on water.

Multiple Sclerosis make a mess of people and my variant is called Primary Progressive and where many people describe MS as “oh you have good days and bad days”  well with primary progressive MS the disease gets progressively worse!  More information click here on the link https://www.mssociety.org.uk/

Had day in bed with my Multiple Sclerosis

 I was awake at six and knew today wasn’t going to work. I went back to sleep, Heather made a cuppa and I had breakfast (porridge sqwiushed banana and honey) and went back to sleep 🛌  💤 😴  until after two o’clock when I woke up in a panic. My indigestion and acid reflux does that I feel like I can’t breathe 🧘‍♀️ and wake up in a real state. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/heartburn-and-acid-reflux/

https://www.royalberkshire.nhs.uk/patient-information-leaflets/GI%20Physiology%20Gastro%20Oesophageal%20Reflux%20Disease%20GORD.htm

West Ham versus Manchester United

 Boring first half they have just gone in for halftime and it’s nil nil and the most exciting thing is a ball put past a West Ham defender. We turned over and watched Ben Fogle in Ireland off grid with author Mark Boyle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Boyle_(Moneyless_Man)

By mentioning Mark I am doing the thing he objects to screen time but hey ho I am a rebel 

Black and white photography and Lightroom and Amateur Photographer magazine

 Last night as was reading this weeks AP ( Amateur Photographer) magazine in bed. Oh well I’ll own up, I read it in bed most nights! What was different last night was there is a whole section on black and white photography. Also there was mention of processing images in Lightroom. Well I’m never far from my iPad so I downloaded a free version of Lightroom and gave it a go. I have tried messing around with various apps to process my photos and I usually come up with the decision ‘life’s to short to learn how to use programs like photoshop’ but last night I linked with Lightroom and have been messing around with it most of the day. I’m back in bed writing this before I go to sleep still my Amateur Photographer magazine beside me, I have it on subscription, as soon as the first lockdown was announced I set my subscription up so I was safe in the knowledge I could get my copy without leaving the house 🏡 as most of you know I am in a wheelchair so having it delivered just makes so much sense. 

As I just said in the past I have not ‘messed’ with my photos,  I shoot jpeg. I detest photoshop and think heavily photoshopped images aren’t real photos but I may be weakening 🤣 I enjoyed playing with Lightroom 😱 Yes I know almost twenty years after getting my first digital camera 📷 I am actually using a tool other than cropping. And I intended to do it again today 🤣

Snow ready

 Whilst I may now be wheelchair based I once had legs and a body that actually worked! Pre Multiple Sclerosis days I would love to be out there as a family snow ball fighting and sliding down slopes on the sledge. Yesterday Victoria our youngest daughter phoned to ask “have you got a sledge” Heather said “of course we have” Victoria turned to her two sons and told them “I told you Grandma would come up with the goods” evidently she had been trying to buy a sledge 🛷 online without success! She should have tried Grandma first she was offered not one but two. A circa 1960’s wooden one and a 1980’s plastic one  so in preparation for the forecast snow she came and collected both. I won’t be using them and I don’t think slipping and sliding in the snow is high on Heathers agenda for tomorrow. 

So the moral of this post is grandparents don’t ever throw anything away and children check with mum and dad when sledges are unavailable on Amazon Prime or on eBay at extortionate prices. Our sledge was bought at a boot fair for a fiver current price on eBay £100 to £200 happy sledding kids 

Big headlines won’t head off a recession dead cat bounce

 I had to smile 😊 at the news headlines back to normal by next spring who are they kidding . I used to think the Bank of England was an honourable institution, well after the Governor espoused that little nugget of wishful thinking I have changed my mind. Pent up savings are going to save the day. The economy isn’t even going to hit a bump in the road and not so much as a mention of the recession I feel we are hurtling towards. I too can manipulate figures and I could predict a sunny future after all it’s still winter so the sun is sure to shine sometime during the summer months, but predictions of normality are in my mind hogwash. In this article https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/feb/04/uk-banks-given-six-months-to-prepare-for-negative-interest-rates 

The report says to prepare for negative interest rates so are we going to bounce back to normal or bounce like a dead cat

Because Andrew Bailey, the BoE governor, said: “The monetary policy committee’s central forecast assumes that Covid-related restrictions and people’s health concerns weigh on activity in the near term, but that the vaccination programme leads to those easing, such that gross domestic product is projected to recover strongly from the second quarter of 2021, towards pre-Covid levels.”

He also went on to say recovery will be driven by ‘pent it savings’ driving the recovery. To me that smacks of the eat out to help out debacle of last summer

People won’t have the choice the used to have as not many shops will have survived. Any one remember Debenhams or Top Shop ? 

Feeling depressed

 I have been a bit low for the last few days and then it dawned on us why. Last Friday we had to visit University College London Hospital to have the Baclofen pump refilled and the dose increased so maybe it’s my body getting used to the larger dose of Baclofen. Drugs have had some strange side effects over the years from hallucinations to insomnia so it’s no real surprise. I have Multiple Sclerosis and recently had an operation to form a stoma a colostomy. So far it has been a success we are just two months in and the nurse has told us to wait three months before getting too excited. 

My depression maybe the drug increase or just dealing with my MS. I cannot walk or even stand anymore so all the pressure goes on to my wife Heather. She is fantastic and deserves far better from life but carries on regardless dealing with everything and putting my well-being before her own. Depression just creeps up on you sneaking in through the cracks and going unnoticed until it has suddenly got it’s feet under the table and is wearing it’s slippers, relaxing and comfortable with it’s surrounding. Currently with COVID-19 restrictions life is super difficult plus it is winter and even if I could get out it’s always bloody raining.

Heather has her work cut out getting me dressed and out of bed. I have to be hoisted on a sling suspended from an electric ceiling hoist. Showers and bathroom visits are done on a commode shower chair which has a mind of its own as to the direction it will take, I am sure it is related to the the wonky supermarket trolleys 🛒 that are abandoned in car parks. I am in an electric wheelchair for getting around but at the moment the furthest I go is downstairs in my through floor lift to sit looking out of the window for birds visiting the garden.  We have several bird feeders an even on a dull damp day like today the birds keep me amused and I am never far from my camera 📷 . Photography gives me immense pleasure and is something I would recommend to anyone feeling depressed! Digital photography has made everyone a photographer. Phones have fantastic cameras and for anyone who wants to be a bit more serious about taking pictures the range of cameras available is enormous. I will blog more about cameras another day.

Today’s post is about depression and I imagine that we all have off days, feeling a bit blue and cheesed off with the world. It was because of feeling like that on a long term basis that I sought help. My first port of call was my doctor (GP) and she had a nice chat with me before she told me that I was depressed!  It wasn’t much of a surprise I had known for a while that I wasn’t feeling ‘right’. She prescribed an antidepressant tablets and guess what? They actually work. After a couple of months of feeling better I stopped taking them, have another guess as to what happened, yep I started feeling depressed again. I have decided that they are alright and now recon they are the best two tablets I take each day.

I have no simple answers to depression I just know how I have got over mine, and even now I still get off days. What I would urge anybody to do is seek professional advice. GP’s are busy people but they are marvellous people who really want to do the best for you. So even in these strange lockdown times they are available for help, so book an appointment, it may be a telephone consultation but it will be a fantastic one. Do it now!