Feeling depressed

 I have been a bit low for the last few days and then it dawned on us why. Last Friday we had to visit University College London Hospital to have the Baclofen pump refilled and the dose increased so maybe it’s my body getting used to the larger dose of Baclofen. Drugs have had some strange side effects over the years from hallucinations to insomnia so it’s no real surprise. I have Multiple Sclerosis and recently had an operation to form a stoma a colostomy. So far it has been a success we are just two months in and the nurse has told us to wait three months before getting too excited. 

My depression maybe the drug increase or just dealing with my MS. I cannot walk or even stand anymore so all the pressure goes on to my wife Heather. She is fantastic and deserves far better from life but carries on regardless dealing with everything and putting my well-being before her own. Depression just creeps up on you sneaking in through the cracks and going unnoticed until it has suddenly got it’s feet under the table and is wearing it’s slippers, relaxing and comfortable with it’s surrounding. Currently with COVID-19 restrictions life is super difficult plus it is winter and even if I could get out it’s always bloody raining.

Heather has her work cut out getting me dressed and out of bed. I have to be hoisted on a sling suspended from an electric ceiling hoist. Showers and bathroom visits are done on a commode shower chair which has a mind of its own as to the direction it will take, I am sure it is related to the the wonky supermarket trolleys 🛒 that are abandoned in car parks. I am in an electric wheelchair for getting around but at the moment the furthest I go is downstairs in my through floor lift to sit looking out of the window for birds visiting the garden.  We have several bird feeders an even on a dull damp day like today the birds keep me amused and I am never far from my camera 📷 . Photography gives me immense pleasure and is something I would recommend to anyone feeling depressed! Digital photography has made everyone a photographer. Phones have fantastic cameras and for anyone who wants to be a bit more serious about taking pictures the range of cameras available is enormous. I will blog more about cameras another day.

Today’s post is about depression and I imagine that we all have off days, feeling a bit blue and cheesed off with the world. It was because of feeling like that on a long term basis that I sought help. My first port of call was my doctor (GP) and she had a nice chat with me before she told me that I was depressed!  It wasn’t much of a surprise I had known for a while that I wasn’t feeling ‘right’. She prescribed an antidepressant tablets and guess what? They actually work. After a couple of months of feeling better I stopped taking them, have another guess as to what happened, yep I started feeling depressed again. I have decided that they are alright and now recon they are the best two tablets I take each day.

I have no simple answers to depression I just know how I have got over mine, and even now I still get off days. What I would urge anybody to do is seek professional advice. GP’s are busy people but they are marvellous people who really want to do the best for you. So even in these strange lockdown times they are available for help, so book an appointment, it may be a telephone consultation but it will be a fantastic one. Do it now!