Hospital appointment and masks

I had an appointment to go to Canterbury hospital today. My catheter has been blocking a lot recently and it was decided to change size, the district nurse tried but the bigger one would not go into the smaller hole. I should explain that I have a supra-pubic catheter. I changed from urethral due to amount of infections and must say I am very pleased and now get lots less infections.  We arrived at the hospital early because there was so little traffic and when we went in we were wearing masks, the nurses asked would we like them to mask up, YES!  They explained from the 15th everyone will have to wear masks but until then they would do what the patient is comfortable. Personally I can’t see why wait eight days do it now. Well that was another day for me with Multiple Sclerosis. I hope your day has been okay. I’m going back to sleep I came to bed when I got home and am still tired, MS wears me out doing nothing so a trip to hospital has exhausted me!

Multiple sclerosis bites back

I have been in bed today. I did get up just before five but the rest of the day I have been asleep. Heather has been coming into me at regular intervals to ensure that I am drinking plenty of water but in seconds of settling down I was asleep again. I think that it is my MS biting back at me for feeling okay for the last couple of days. I haven’t done anything that has worn me out I just think it is my MS.

The power of the image.

I try and steer clear of politics especially worldwide politics but with so many conflicts around the world it is hard not to take some sort of interest in what is happening. Some conflict are so long-standing no one really knows what caused them. Others are smash and grab situations where one war lord wants what another has got. I read about forty five deaths in a machete attack on a neighbouring town part of a long standing disagreement. All of those deaths were family members they were mums and dads daughters and sons. People. Just like you and me.
What got me to think about these conflicts was an individual photo. Yes it was an award winning photo but it just goes to show the power of the image! The photo I was so taken by was the winner of this years ‘World Press Photo of the Year’ an image taken by Yasuyoshi  Chiba and titled Straight Voice. That image has haunted me for a few weeks.

It’s of a young man praying or reciting poetry whilst lit by the light from phones. He is surrounded by   others each with a look of desperation. It is a colour photo taken in almost pitch darkness and whilst being shot in colour it has the essence of a black and white image!  That image speaks to me! I know I am an emotional wreck, I even cry at adverts on TV but I don’t feel emotional over the image I feel connected with the young man. He is crying out for change in his and everyone around him situation. I can relate to that. As I write this the whole world is in lockdown due to corvid19 and I feel the photo could be a metaphor to the feelings of the world. Each person in the world is suffering in some way due to the virus and I feel helpless. This image portrays that feeling more than my feeble attempt to write down how I feel.
CLICK HERE to see the photo 

Save the world, the Coronavirus legacy.

Well maybe not all of it! But if Coronavirus Lockdown has taught us anything it is to be different. The same old same old ain’t necessarily the future same old. Things are going to be different. People have discovered that going to the office everyday just because that is how we have always done it that way don’t cut it now. Things are gonna change and in my mind that can only be a good thing. Just think of the fuel saving. Twenty percent less if you stay at home just for one day. I know things like season tickets for public transport muddy the water but if you drive in everyday the savings could be huge. The green brigade will be able to tell you the benefit to less pollution I am just a back of a fag packet calculations type of guy. I dream big, we have all seen the lack of pollution on television, pictures taken from space showing cities normally covered in smog are now smog free. That could be our future but people really have to want a different future. A greener cleaner future. One that actually cuts pollution, one that plans for a better tomorrow.

I don’t know the answers, I am not even sure I know the questions. But if we really think about the future we can make the past just that. A thing of the past.

Help depression with photography

I started blogging twenty years ago I posted 100’s of posts some bad most even worse than that, then about four years ago I deleted everything! Five different blogs and all posts I erased fifteen years of work. Why? Because one day I woke up depressed very very depressed. My depression was ongoing I had been taking antidepressants for years but that day I was super depressed! I couldn’t cope and days in bed feeling like crap eventually gave way to feeling slightly less depressed and slowly very slowly I got over things! I am not there yet but I am coping.  My Multiple Sclerosis has taken a turn for the worse and I am a lot weaker than I have ever been. Cheerful ain’t I? Cheering you up yet.

The reason for this post is to help other people and at the same time help myself. Well maybe we can both gain from the words I am feebly trying to get down. I read an article in the amateur photographer magazine today. Yep it was about how photography can help people suffering from depression. I deleted my photography blog on that day five years ago, years of posts hours and hours of blogging not so many photos. My photos look awful even the good ones are bad so maybe no great loss to the world when I hit that delete button! But I suffered oh boy I suffered. All of those posts those dreams the hopes the memories were gone, no more could people read about what I had enjoyed putting out for anyone who wandered world. I had planned to use film cameras made since my arrival here on earth, anyone who reads the amateurphotographer will have seen a regular article about using a different film camera for every week for a year. It was so popular it went on and on finally finishing after ten years and five hundred and twenty different cameras!

Back to you and your depression, anything that can get you less depressed is good! I know about stopping and concentrating on the shot it helps me and it helped the people in the article I read today! The breaking of the norm the stopping the waiting, the looking at something other than whatever your brain wants you to hang up on. I recently heard depression described as like listening to a out of tune radio, it’s always playing in the background, you can’t hear it properly but you listen to it all the time and in doing so you miss out on so much good stuff that’s going on around you. Well that’s me done for tonight, it’s twenty to one in the morning even though this iPad recon it 16:40. One of the many things I need to sort, I only got this on Monday so still on a learning curve. I’ll finish up tomorrow as I wanna add some photos and links and mention lockdown

Lockdown, how has it been for you? In all honesty for me it has been much of the same as normal. Heather has to hoist me out of bed and do pretty much everything for me! I have helped with comments on what to get for shopping 👍 not always useful. I know many people have been finding it very difficult. There are any different places to go for help and my answer is always seek help. You know it makes sense but the hardest step is always the first one. I am often guilty of leaving things to long, last year I ended up in A&E blue lights and everything with suspected sepsis. I got better with antibiotics! The hardest part for me has been not seeing the family our daughters stop at the front gate and have a five minutes chat but it ain’t the same is it. I know all of you reading this will be suffering your own personal problems and FaceTime is good but it’s not a patch on meet-ups and a chat over a brew.

Scary hospital appointment

No I am not worried about the appointment but I am concerned! I have been self isolating for eight weeks and now I have to go into the Lions den. Well the Lions den wheelchair department!. Wish me luck👍

Lockdown lazy day

It comes round every month a regular as clockwork! Catheter change day. Today I had two nurses come and visit me all done up in PPE  and as smart as two new pins! One was my regular district nurse and the other a student nurse! The students voice seemed familiar but behind the mask and stuff I didn't recognise her. She used to work at Strode Park in Herne where I go for my respite care and I hadn't seen her for over six months so maybe I can be forgiven for not recognising her. The change was a regular one but because of all of the recent problems with blockages the idea was to fit a larger catheter.
Sounds simple right? The reality was far from simple. Small hole and larger tube didn't mix and after a few attempts it was back to fitting the normal size one again, so when lockdown is over its a trip to Canterbury hospital urology department and get them to do it. I had general anesthetic for the original so maybe I'll be knocked out again for them to sort it!
All this messing around left me exhausted so I have been in bed all day sleeping. Multiple Sclerosis affects me like that, the slightest hint of trauma and I am exhausted, I slept most of the day Sat in the chair for dinner and straight back to bed!